Burgers, the Big Game, Booze, Beef, Banned....BUMMER!

Background:  As some of you know, I don't give a rat's ass about organized sports.  I have been to less than a dozen football and baseball games ever, and I don't have any plans to do so in the near or distant future.  However, I certainly love a good Superbowl party. And what's not to love? Food, booze, good company, the commercials, and, occasionally, something interesting between the two competing teams.

A few years ago, Bruce B., one of my Las Vegas traveling companions, invited me to attend the "Big Game" party at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas ("Big Game" is a euphemism for "Super Bowl."  If you use the name "Super Bowl," the NFL wants licensing fees, etc).  As the National Firearms Industry Show opened the next day, and I planned to be there, I accepted his offer.  Needless to say, Caesar's did not disappoint. Bruce got passes to the  "highest roller" room.   Big screens covered the walls.  There was a well stocked open bar.  The food offerings included stations serving pulled pork sandwiches, hot wings, a taco bar, and one that had an assortment of sausages.  In addition to the dessert table, they had Dove ice cream Bars.  All. you. wanted.  Even the greeters at the doors, young ladies in referee and cheerleader costumes, were, as you might say, "top drawer."

So, when Bruce asked if I wanted to accompany him and Rob (another Las Vegas compatriot) to the "Big Game" party at the Atlantis Resort and Casino in Reno, I said YES. The only caveat was that I had to eat what they ordered for me at lunch and dinner. I agreed.  And in the ensuing 36 hour road trip I experienced Burgers, the Big Game, Booze, Beef, Banned, and BUMMER....here's the entire story:

Burgers: We left the Bay Area at about 8:30 a.m., and headed over the Altamont towards Sacramento.  At hour 2.5, we stooped at a Starbucks in Colfax for coffee.  Less than an hour later, we were in Truckee, California, where we dined at Burger Me, a small burger joint that features locally sourced ingredients. It has been featured on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. I had the Truckee Train Wreck, a 1/3 lb burger topped with cheddar, turkey chili, onion rings, and a fried egg.  It was mighty tasty.

The only questionable moment came when the nice lady at the counter asked if I wanted it served  on a "whole wheat" bun.  I reminded her that the brave young men that stormed the beaches at Normandy and were lucky enough to survive and return home were not offered the option of a "whole wheat " bun when they enjoyed the most American of foods, the burger.  They never considered "whole wheat"  and "burger" in any combination.  Maybe that's why they are called "The Greatest Generation." Sheesh!

The Big Game:

I immediately knew that the crowd at the Atlantis was going to be different than that at Caesar's. In reality, it was a "Larry the Cable Guy - Get 'er done" crowd.  Mullets, skullets (bald on top, party in the back), ladies in "fashionably ripped" t-shirts, too many visible BAD tattoos, missing teeth, etc.  These attributes alone (or in combination) don't make someone a bad person.  But couple it with FREE booze and food, and people just go buck wild.  Lots of cursing and TMI conversations.  The food was nothing of note (chili, big hot dogs, some kind of roast beef and rolls, hot wings, some salads).  Yet, people not only tore it up big time, but even stockpiled plates of hot dogs and starch on their tables, which they carried to their rooms after the game.

SNOB ALERT!!

Booze:

I went to the bar and ordered Bourbon.  The bar tender took a large clear plastic glass (about 16 ounces), poured 2 shots over the ice, and asked what I wanted with my Bourbon.  I replied "Bourbon."  He looked puzzled and repeated the question.  I repeated my answer.  The bar tender promptly filled my glass up, still looking puzzled. As I walked away, it occurred to me that he was asking what kind of non-booze mixer I wanted him to add.  In my mind, Vodka is for mixing, and Bourbon is for sipping, sans soda pop.  SHEESH!

BTW, it was a good ball game.  Almost makes a person want  to go see a real game...ALMOST.

Beef:  

I avoided the "Big Game" buffet and saved room for dinner. We dined at the Atlantis Steak House. We started off with a Bombay Sapphire martini.  The picture says all there is to say.

My entree came with a salad.  If you read my prior post, you know how I feel about salad.  It was there, so I ate it.  Any nutritional value in the salad was going to be obliterated by the entree:

36 ounce "Cowboy Cut" bone-in rib eye.  36 ounces of beefy joy.  Bovine Nirvana.  It 

was perfectly seared on the outside, tender and juicy.  A real primal cut of meat.  Served with button mushrooms. After the third bite, the shreds of lettuce that I previously ate were cowereing in the corner of my stomach, begging for mercy.  Did I finish it?

You betcha I did.  First of all, one does not indulge in a mega-protein meal with plans of taking some of it home afterwards, especially when staying in a hotel four hours away from home.  Plus, this was a challenge, and to fail would call my gustatory prowess into question.  So, I did what needed to be done.   I am a grown-ass man. 

Carpe Diem:  Seize the moment!

Banned:
On the way home, enroute to South Lake Tahoe, I received a phone call from one of my doctors in response to an email I had sent a few days before.  We discussed the issue at hand, and together we decided to change up my roster of medications. As she told me about dosing and possible side effects, she mentioned that until further notice I was not to have any  caffeine or alcohol.  I thanked her for her time and guidance, and ended the call.

Then it hit me... SHE JUST TOLD ME THAT I COULD NO LONGER HAVE ANY ALCOHOL OR CAFFEINE.

 NO. BOOZE. OR. CAFFEINE.  None.  Zip.  Zero.  Bupkus.  Jack squat.

No Bulliet, or Cazadores, or Maker's Mark, or beer, or wine, or Jack Daniels, or vodka, or Bloody Mary's, or Scotch, or Peet's, Starbucks, or Philz..and no Jaegermeister.  I mean, for chrissakes, why no Jaegermeister?  It's practically medicine, as it heals the  soul and settles the stomach.  And how am I gonna live without coffee? Or diet Coke?

SHEESH!  SHEE-IT!

Bummer:

I enjoy like love booze.  And coffee.  This is going to be a big change.  It looks like caffeine can slowly work its way back into my regimen at some future date.  But booze, if allowed, will have to be in minuscule amounts, as the medicine can impact alcohol clearance and tolerance in the liver, thus leading to the type of alcoholism that affects people without the proper enzymes to effectively metabolize alcohol.  Not a risk that I need to take.  Probably do me some good to lay off the two for a while.

At least I still have cigars.  And bacon.  Mmmmmmmmm....bacon.

Hope springs eternal.